Family Matters: Fussy eaters
You have spent hours slaving away in the kitchen, perfected the presentation and thought carefully about what to make, only for your fussy eaters to reject the meal you’ve put in front of them. This is a scenario familiar to most parents and it can be incredibly frustrating when it happens time and time again.
Food refusal is a normal part of a child’s development. You may have had a baby that ate everything only to find that once they got to their first birthday, they started to reject new food as well as things that they had previously eaten. This behaviour has its roots in our history: learning which foods are safe to eat is something humans have evolved to do. Fear of new or unfamiliar foods is known as food neophobia and typically peaks around two years of age.
What to do when children are fussy eaters
How you respond to food refusal can make a huge difference in terms of setting up healthy food habits and managing fussy eating. Whatever their age, if you are struggling with your child’s fussiness around food, try our top tips.
- Exposure, exposure, exposure – Children learn to like what is familiar to them. A trap many parents fall into is to stop offering the things that their child doesn’t eat, but this only reinforces to the child that “they don’t like” these things.
- Create a food structure – Just like sleep, having a good routine with food can make a big difference. Children find it easier to eat when they know what to expect, with predictable mealtimes. This can also help manage snacking.
- Two snacks max – If a child grazes on snacks through the day then they are unlikely to want to eat their dinner. Snacks also tend to be less nutritious. For this reason we recommend two snacks max – one mid-morning and one mid-afternoon. Snacks can also be a good opportunity to encourage new things. Chances are that if they’re hungry, they’ll eat it.
- Make food fun – For babies and toddlers, messy play is a great way to expose children to food in a fun way and can help build positive associations. For older children, involving them with food in different forms can make food interesting and fun. This could be growing your own, cooking together or giving them some control over what meals to make and suggesting recipes. The more involved your child is in the process, the more likely they are to eat the finished product.
Encouraging healthy eating
When we think of all this in terms of health and wellbeing, it can start to make sense that if we (parents and carers) are taking care of ourselves by eating healthily, staying active, and looking after our mental health then our children will see that and start to adapt that behaviour themselves.
1. Review portion sizes
Just like sleep, having a good routine with food can make a big difference. Children find it easier to eat when they know what to expect, with predictable mealtimes. This can also help manage snacking.
2. Don’t turn you kitchen into a café
Just like sleep, having a good routine with food can make a big difference. Children find it easier to eat when they know what to expect, with predictable mealtimes. This can also help manage snacking.
3. Make healthy food the norm
Minimise the amount of unhealthy food in the house and talk to your child about why we all need to eat well for our bodies to work well. If your child knows that there’s biscuits in the cupboard it’s likely that they’ll want to choose them over a piece of fruit. Making healthy options familiar and normal will increase the likelihood of your child eating these things. Our easy-peasy healthy recipes are a great way to introduce new meals to fussy eaters.
4. Don’t use food as a reward
Bribery may work in the short term but telling your child that they can only have their pudding once they’ve eating their vegetables reinforces to a child that the vegetables are an undesirable thing to be eating and pudding is the better choice. This isn’t limited to mealtimes – we live in a society where food is often used as a reward. This again reinforces that unhealthy foods are more desirable (we don’t tend to say, “If you’re on your best behaviour at the supermarket then you can have some broccoli”, for example). Try thinking of non–food rewards for these occasions.
5. Think drinks
After six months, milk alone isn’t enough to provide your child with all the nutrients they need and over-reliance on milk as your child gets older (particularly after one year) can lead to nutrition deficiencies. Some children much prefer to drink than eat, and if they are having filling drinks – such as milk and smoothies – there probably won’t be much room left for food.
Limiting the amount of drinks (other than water) your child has should encourage their appetite and teach them that if they are hungry that they need to eat rather than drink.
Staying positive
Be a positive role model
Children learn by the example you set – as we discussed in our blog about modelling behaviour for kids. If you are a picky eater yourself, then your child will not see that it’s normal to eat a varied diet. Try not to make negative comments about food – if you hate mushrooms your child doesn’t need to hear about it. Children will also eat better when their peers do, so you might find inviting friends over for dinner helps.
Offer food in different forms
How food is prepared affects how we taste it. Just because your child doesn’t like carrots when they’re cooked doesn’t mean they won’t eat them raw. Experiment with cooking methods – vegetables tend to taste sweeter when stir fried compared to when boiled. Adding extra vegetables into meals can also help rather than just serving them on the side.
Stay calm
Try to stay calm at mealtimes. A child who feels stressed is less likely to eat and a child who is pressured to eat is more likely to develop an unhealthy relationship with food. You should encourage fussy eaters to try new things but accept it if they don’t want to. Simply remove the food without making a big deal of it. Ultimately, staying calm and loving is the greatest thing you can do at mealtimes.
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